The prompt for my Tuesday writing group greets us from the table as we enter the room—a pile of shells from the North Carolina shore. I sit down where sand has spread out like fairy dust to bless us, full of the kind of magic we all long for. Carol invites us to choose a shell to sit with, to write about. I know instantly which one I’ll pick. It’s the one she adjusted at the very last moment. Quirky and charismatic, it smiles at me, mouth open wide in a full-faced grin. I smile back, then see its swollen upper lip. The wound protrudes, puffed and shiny, in a prominent bulb of white. I can’t help but worry. Was my shell in a fight? Has it been through some trauma? Has it been bullied? Rejected by a lover? I hate that person! The one who cost this smile its perfection, the one who dared to slam a simple soul to the ocean floor. The audacity! I resent them. My shell shrugs the insult off with a casual spirit of “Live and Let Live.” I’m not so still, so calcium and calm about it. I have been hurt, haven’t I? I’ve been bullied! I’ve been rejected! My lip blooms hot and red like a carnation, at least it has when I’ve walked straight into a doorjamb, as close to hit as I’ve ever been, thank God. Still, the door, like those people who’ve deigned to dis me, truly disappoints me and offends—an opening not at all wide enough for me to enter into and be. How clumsy I am trying to walk through a door that’s so narrow! After slamming into the trim, it’s best to turn around. After rejection, too, it’s best to turn around. “There’s more fish in the sea!”, I’ve heard all my life. My reply? But, I like this fish! It goes well with a split lip. My shell gazes up at me from the table, its mouth open in silent conversation spilling fairy dust words into my notebook. It seems to say, even unwanted parts of us—whatever’s left of a broken heart, a diminished dream of fulfillment in adulthood—even those parts can speak a salty magic, words which bring savor to life, which prompt us, and each other, to turn around and smile. Karen Jessee If you would like to receive notice of new posts by email, please write me at searchandknow@mindspring.com.
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